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Things I've Learned From My Children:

  1.  If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
      strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy
      underwear and a superman cape.
 2.  It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls
      of a 20 by 20 foot room.
 3.  When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's
      already too late.
 4.  Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
 5.  A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
      36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
 6.  If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball
      shoes it does not leak - it explodes.
 7.  A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot
      house 4 inches deep.
 8.  Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
 9.  Super glue is forever.
10.  McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
11.  No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you
       still can't walk on water.
12.  Pool filters do not like Jello.
13.  VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV
       commercials show they do.
14.  Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
15.  The fire department in Wellington has at least a 5 minute
       response time.
16.  The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth
        worms dizzy.
17.  It will however make cats dizzy.
18.  Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

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